Are you gridlocked in conflict and unsure what to do?
Conflict is an inevitable aspect of both personal and professional environments. At times, individuals may find themselves entrenched in disputes that seem irresolvable, resulting in frustration, diminished morale, and a breakdown in communication. Such gridlocked conflicts, as defined by the Gottman Institute, are characterised by repetitive, seemingly unsolvable arguments where parties feel rejected and unable to move forward, often due to underlying unmet needs or fundamental differences.
In the workplace, unresolved conflict can erode organisational culture, foster psychological distress, and expose employers and employees to psychosocial hazards, including workplace bullying. The Work Health and Safety (WHS) Act 2011 and the 2022 Code of Practice recognise unresolved conflict as a significant psychosocial risk, underscoring the importance of proactive conflict management.
If you are experiencing a gridlocked conflict, the following nine steps may move your conflict into resolution:
Step Back and Gain Perspective
Take a “balcony view” of the conflict. This means distancing yourself emotionally and observing the situation as objectively as possible. This helps reduce emotional reactivity and allows for clearer thinking.
Acknowledge the Gridlock
Recognise that you’re stuck in a repetitive, seemingly unsolvable argument. Understanding that gridlocked conflicts often stem from deeper, unmet needs or fundamental differences is crucial
Identify Underlying Issues
Reflect on what core values, dreams, or needs might be driving each person’s position. Sometimes, the surface argument is a symptom of deeper concerns.
Communicate Openly and Respectfully
Create a safe space for all parties to express their feelings and perspectives without fear of judgment or retaliation. Avoid passive-aggressive behaviours, which often stem from unaddressed conflict and can worsen the situation.
Seek Common Ground
Focus on shared goals, such as maintaining a healthy workplace or relationship. Even if you can’t resolve every issue, finding areas of agreement can help reduce tension.
Accept that some issues may be persistent and unresolvable. Instead, agree on practical steps to manage differences respectfully and minimise negative impacts.
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Prioritise Wellbeing and Psychological Safety
Foster an environment where everyone feels valued, respected, and safe. Addressing conflict constructively helps prevent stress, anxiety, and a toxic atmosphere.
Follow Up and Adjust
After taking action, check in with everyone involved. Adjust your approach as needed to ensure the conflict doesn’t resurface or escalate.
By implementing these steps, organisations and individuals can address gridlocked conflicts with professionalism and empathy, fostering a culture of psychological safety and mutual respect.
Our team at Sidelines Consulting and Advisory are trained in conflict resolution including Mediation, Restorative Justice, Family Group Conferencing, Conflict Coaching and Gottman methods. Email us to speak to a conflict resolution consultant.
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